Broken records

I started playing an online game again. I don't know why I did that. I don't know what possessed me to sign in and play. All I know is that it's been about two weeks now and already I feel like shit.

Most of the time I think I avoid a lot of drama and things from other people. I try very hard to remain neutral because it's usually none of my business and I have enough of my own drama. However, since playing this game again I am now assured that I cause the drama. It has to be me.
The part I don't understand is how, when or why I cause it. Surely I don't say things to incite people...? Do I?

So here I am. I got banned from a place, a sim. I don't know when it happened and I very much do not know why. I suspect it has something to do with a nasty rumour being said.

This is only a small snapshot of the circus going on. I realise I'm not meant to care, however, I do care because I am human. I'm not a robot devoid of emotions or feeling. A slurr against my virtual self hurts just as much as a slur on my real self. Yes, it HURTS.

This snapshot of life, both real and virtual, has created a rather large whole in me. Like a tyre with a small hole. A little bit of air escapes every few seconds so it takes days for the tyre to go flat.
I am beginning to think that people just don't care about anyone other than themselves. Everything I seem to do or say is met with hostility, paranoia and stupidity.

People, let me state right here: I do not care about your inner most secrets, or shame. I do not care about your petty squabbles with other people. I do not want to spy on you to find out whatever it is you deem so important.

It's truly ridiculous that I allow myself to be affected by so many people. I guess I allow it because I want to fit in, I want to be liked and I want to please everyone. If I can't please people I get frustrated and begin to worry about my usefulness as a human. Hey, I never said I was sane.

So after two weeks I've been followed around an Australian sim by one of the "admin", I've been lied to, I have been the recipient of rumours and false accusations and I've been treated in a cruel manner.

Is this the best the world, both real and virtual, has to offer? If it is, well, I want out of both. Where's the off button for the real world? It needs one.