An Unfortunate Tale

Bad days, like good days, come and go. Some of us are more resiliant and bounce back from bad days quickly. Some of us ruminate and get stuck in the bad day.

I happen to fall into the latter. As if you didn't already know this!
Lately I've been on one hell of an emotional ride. It seems to be every Wednesday something decidely quick nasty happens.
Last Wednesday a friend gave up on me. (How do I know this?He told me via email. Lovely). Luckily I was in hospital last Wednesday and was able to vent and lean on the nurses and psychiatric staff for support. I was also able to take extra medication when things got "too" out of control.

This week, however, I was home. Alone. Sick and unable to attend day program that was on today I'm now faced with another disaster. I fully realise it is how I deal with the disaster rather than the disaster itself. This doesn't seem to take the sting away from the disaster. Perhaps that's just me being weak. Perhaps it's human. I really don't know.

What I do know is that this "event" has me incredibly confused. On one hand two people stood up for me. They went outside their comfort zones to tell another person they were wrong, perhaps not "wrong" but inconsiderate. These two people did something that very few have ever done for me in my life. I am honoured. I am touched. I am shocked that they would find something someone else said so unfair they needed to speak up.

Now, I can't comment on what was said in reply to my post. Simply because I do not know. The person who made the comments deleted them, and me. Yes, the person also deleted me. I must stipulate at this point, I refrained from being on the site last night (when the "event" happened) because I wasn't well and went to bed early. So I did not see the replies/commentary until today. This afternoon in fact since I've been sick and stuck in bed.

This deletion makes me angry and, quite frankly, rather sad. Why was I punished because I was not online?
Was I really punished or was the deletion a mercy act from someone who realised they had overstepped the line?

I feel I need to say right here, and now, to the two people who stood up for me; Thank You.
I'm not angry because of your actions, indeed I'm flattered beyond words.
I'm also not hurt by what you said. You were honest. I suspect the other person was also honest, in their own way. However, I really don't know.

I can only comment on what I read. I can only comment on what I've been told on other mediums regarding the post and subsequent replies.
It would seem that the reply that sent my friends into a spin also sent others into a spin. Not everyone commented, thank you to those who also didn't comment. I think that while you agreed with my two friends you didn't feel the need to "gang up" on each other. I admire the strength it must have taken not to say anything.

So here I am. I am confused because I feel abandoned by another person. Yet, at the same time, I feel comforted because I was protected.

It is strange being me and constantly feeling such mixed and conflicted emotions. If I were not this way, the problems of yesterday would not have happened. Truly, if I were not sick the whole situation would have been avoided.
From now on I shall censor what I say. It is apparent I am not meant to speak so candidly.